so good

Shit Horse gonna ride

one of my all time favs

I woke up in my mom’s closet this morning 

saw you in a mag kissing a MANGO


optimal conditions

(via funkss)

I thought court would me more exciting. Everyone there is a fucking dick


Nude beach baby oh moisten my melanin
Tickle my beak as you please my pelican
Margarita mama, get down on the taffy
Ring my banana phone, ride it like Raffi

we’re going to have to put my dog down soon, that fucking sucks


Heat my pheasant up, spread a bone ladle
Jeter my peter, my first base: anal
Lisa Loeb loincloth, glasses say math love
Gropin grape gravy til we fill up a bath tub





As some of you know, I’ve always felt I could only truly express my thoughts and emotions through the art of poetry - by miles, it’s my favorite of the arts. As McSweeney’s has respectfully declined my offer to write an hourly-updated column of these, I can now share the very same delicate, thoughtful, ethereal verses with you. Suck my kiss.